


Two Sides Of a Coin

by ALPHAwolf



Series: Love and Lacerations [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Violence, mentions of abuse and attempted rape, sort of fluff eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7803844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've always been obsessed with one another, ever since their first fight. Joker's twisted love, Batman's solemn hate. Justice and revenge, fear and protection. One coin, two people. Gods among mortals. Only he can control the Joker, and only the Joker can make him lose control.<br/>With no other options, Arkham no longer a suitable place to trap the clown, Batman does something incredibly stupid he has no doubt he will regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the usual disclaimers! Features Sucker For Pain by Imagine Dragons at some point (cant remember where). Picture whatever version of Joker and Batman you see fit!

The likeness had once been pointed out to him by Dr Sharp, one of the psychologists at Arkham asylum (who was a step away from being one of its attendants he might add), and ever since he couldn't help being obsessed with the idea.

Two polar opposites, yet completely aligned. Justice and injustice, black and white, a smile and a frown, pain and pleasure. Good and evil. Two sides of the same coin.

Many had agreed too. Harley agreed (though she agreed with everything he said), Two Face had agreed, hell, even the police force saw them as same breed of freak! They were meant to be, nothing without one another. Well, Batman was nothing without him, and he had to admit he'd be rather bored without him. Who would be there to pummel his face and thwart his evil schemes otherwise? Superman? Ha! He giggled uncontrollably at the notion. Oh no, all he'd need was a crystal of kryptonite and he could kill the alien fool. Oh no, far too easy! He liked a good challenge.

Joker grinned, the red slitted and stitched corners of his mouth reaching to his cheek bones, giggling again as he dodged another kick. If they were two sides of a coin he'd like them to be a gold coin, an expensive gold coin worth at least two hundred dollars. Though Batty Boy would probably prefer silver.

"Silver or gold hm Batsy?" Batman didn't reply and just attempted another punch with a growl. "HAHAHA! Come now Bats, you’re not an animal! Hahaha!" He nearly doubled over in laughter before another thought distracted him. "Oh! Rose gold! perhaps you prefer that? If only they could do a purple gold, oh I'd love that! Oh! Rainbows! That's even better! Ouff!" Batman landed a hard hit to the side of his face, making him stagger back.

Was he heads or tails? Did bats have tails? Did a cape count? Oh wait, that was wings... Well it would just have to be heads and wings then! He wanted to be the head and wear a crown, he was after all the Clown Prince of Crime!

A heavy blow to the stomach from his gallant Dark Knight silenced his giggles a moment and he keeled over, before returning a kick to the Caped Crusaders shins. Batman faltered, looking determined despite his heavy panting from their fight. They'd been at it around an hour now. Both were unarmed, having used all their gadgets on one another already.

Joker wiped the blood from his hands on his torn shirt, both his and Batman's blood staining the white shirt. He'd lost his purple jacket and tight green vest already at some point. His tie had been taken off and used to try strangle the other, so he'd lost that too.

Batman attacked again and he dodged.

"Ahh what a lovely dance we have! Your terrible at lead! Let me!" He tripped the other up and he fell on his side with a groan. Joker laughed despite his need for air. "HAHAHA! Oh! My knight in dull armour! You should really-WAA!" Batman tripped him by his ankles and he tumbled over on top of him, rolling around on the ground as they tried to wrestle for the upper hand. Batman was stronger, but he was insane. What other upper-hand could he need?!

He laughed and poked the other in his white covered eye, getting through the thin material, making Batman flinch and hiss. He quickly recovered and rolled them over, pinning Joker down to the warehouse floor. The two panted and Joker grinned.

"My my, what a position you have me in panting under you~" Batman only glared, still catching his breath. "You know, my darling arch nemesis~ We should really get along once in a while. After all we want same thing. Gotham to be perfect!" He smiled dreamily. "We just have different methods."

"No." Was all the buff man growled out.

"Deniiile~! Hihihi~ Oufghh-" A hard hit to the head silenced him only a moment as Batman rolled him onto his stomach and held his hands together.

"Ohhh! Cop and criminal role play huh? I looove roleplay~ Gonna cuff me? Should I have a safe word?"

"Shut up." Batman growled, heaving himself and the Joker up, a tight hold on the other's wrists. He dragged the other out despite his struggling, met by the flashing blue and red of Gotham's police force below the midnight moon. Already an Arkham Asylum transfer vehicle had been called and all Joker's minions arrested. Joker giggled, his grin making some of the officers’ flinch.

"You know Batty Boy," He whispered to the other seductively, meeting the vigilante's gaze with his gleaming dirty-yellow eyes. "There is a special place in hell for the two of us, chains wrapped around us both! HAHAHA!" Batman only frowned as the other was grabbed by a horde of officers and forced over into the padded asylum van. The green haired goon was pushed in roughly, smiling all the while, as the police chief Jim Gordon made his way over looking solemn.

"I'll see you soon Bat Babe! Hihih~" The doors were slammed shut and Joker threw himself against them, grinning out the small window. He kissed the glass, drawing a smile in the blood and red lipstick mark left there.

"Ten workers died in the explosion earlier. Six people are being treated for the Joker Venom gas. Thank you for apprehending him." Batman didn't reply, eyes still locked on Joker's. "He's going to get out again. Arkham just can't hold him." Gordon sighed as the van drove off. It was true. No matter what he just kept escaping, slipping out of Arkham without anyone the wiser every time. Batman frowned.

"We should-" Gordon stopped talking, realizing the other had disappeared again. He grumbled, "I hate it when he does that."

Batman slipped through the police cars and around the corner to the Batmobile, getting in quickly and driving toward the Batcave.

Speeding through the underground tunnel to his secret hideout was mildly calming. The darkness soothed his thumping head, pained due to a few of Joker's well aimed hits. Almost over an hour they had fought, not including the time it took to take out the madman's henchmen and defuse the bomb he'd strapped to a weeping hostage.

Despite their exhausting hand on combat the deranged clown still found the breath to ramble. He barely even listened anymore when the other began to yammer on. There was no use in listening to the ravings of a lunatic, especially when said lunatic was so good at manipulation. He'd already convinced several of his therapists to kill themselves, a few went insane, and one was now his trusted lackey.

Batman shook all thoughts of the other from his mind, trying to remove the stained image in his brain of the others cheeky lewd expression from behind the blood messed glass of the asylum van. It was a promise. A promise he'd be back in no time.

He parked, finally in the cultivated cave, and jumped out with a groan. He ached everywhere. With a full night’s job decidedly done the Dark Knight walked over to the computer and slipped off his mask, rubbing his face. God he was tired.

"Sir, I do believe you need some rest." Alfred commented as he walked towards the black-haired man, a silver tray of food and tea in hand. He hadn't even noticed him enter.

"I'm fine Alfred. I just need to finish some work."

"I must protest for your health's sake sir. Running around with psychotic jesters is doing your body no favour." Bruce only groaned, taking the food and beginning to eat. The grey-haired man sighed. "I shall fetch the first aid kit." With that he walked off, leaving Bruce with the tray. He had also left some pain medication on the tray, which Bruce gulped down with the bitter tea.

Alfred returned soon after and helped the man dress his wounds, taking the empty dishes back to the kitchen. Bruce left with him, both entering the Wayne manor through the old grandfather clock, not bothering to change out his bat-suit as he left for his room.

He groaned again as he sat on the large bed of his bedroom, rubbing his face and turning to look out the window. A feeling of dread and a reminder of his exhaustion washed over him at the familiar sight of the bat signal against the gloomy clouds. Great. Back to work.

He felt like a teenager again, having to sneak back down to the Batcave, hoping to avoid Alfred's disapproving gaze. Despite not being a child anymore just a look from the old butler could riddle him with guilt, like that time he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar after bed time as a child. Alfred had said nothing, just looked at him and left. The disappointed look alone made him put the cookie back and hurry to his room.

The Batmobile was too slow and large for a quick ride to the police chief’s office so he took the Batbike instead, zipping through Gotham's filth ridden streets like a shadow.

This was the most dangerous city in this hemisphere, probably the world. Villains around every corner, abuse, drugs and violence the heart of a cement and metal nightmare, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Gordon was already waiting on the roof. After all a vigilante couldn't be seen using the front door of a police building, no matter how much he helped enforce the law. Batman swung onto the roof from the next building over, making the detective jump slightly.

"Batman, we have a problem. Joker escaped custody. They didn't put him in a straightjacket and he jumped out the back of the van." A rookie mistake he had been too tired to notice when they had thrown the other in the transport. Batman swore inwardly, something he didn't do often, even in his mind.

"We have no idea where he got off at either." Batman nodded and turned to leave, 'conversation' done as far as he was concerned.

It was obvious they needed a new approach to the 'Joker' problem. He was an escape artist, even straight-jackets were useless now. Perhaps there wasn't even a point in putting them on him, though he had a feeling the maniac actually liked them, and probably looked at it as a fashion statement.

The cell's at Arkham couldn't hold him, despite being constantly under surveillance and in an 'inescapable' cell. He'd have to improve the other's jail, so that once he caught Joker again the maniac might actually stay in Arkham for more than a month or two.

He returned to the cave, far too tired to even consider going out looking for the other until tomorrow. 'Til then he had his mind set on creating a new cell, using the best lock technology Wayne Enterprises had. Determination burned in his sapphire eyes. This time he would capture the explosive fanatic, and there would be no escape.

 

§

 

Alfred was less than pleased to find Bruce asleep on his desk the next morning, laying over the fresh blueprints for a new prison cell. None the less he arranged for the materials to be bought and didn't object to helping his master build the plastic made cell in the Batcave. Once it was done he'd test it out himself, and if he found no flaws he would give the blueprints to Arkham, conveniently in time with a donation from millionaire Bruce Wayne to pay for the cell's making.

An entire week passed and Joker had yet to make a scene, but of course the peace was always ruined at some stage. Thankfully this time it was done without a big explosion or massacre as usual. He hadn't even been looking for the other when they crossed paths, he had been tracking down Catwoman. The nine-lived thief had been about to execute a diamond heist when Joker interrupted, his own plans for the fat diamonds. Batman watched from the shadows, waiting for the opportune moment. Cat-woman was outnumbered, ten henchmen at Joker's back. The madman grinned.

"Here kitty kitty! Want some fish?" He then slapped her across the face with a cod, laughing his head off as she looked back in shock. Catwoman hissed, claws out as she tried to remain calm.

"Back off Joker, this is my job."

"Ah, well you see little kitty I have a biiig surprise I have to arrange for my darling Batsy, and you know how expensive things are these days!"

"Your darling?" She scoffed. "You wish. You may have been his arch nemesis once but I think you'll find the Big Bad Bat finds my presence both more enjoyable, and more challenging, than yours."

"Hahahahaha!" Joker bent over with laughter, dropping the dead fish. "Hahaha! And everyone says- hihihi-! I'm delusional!" Catwoman hissed and went to attack, Joker dodging as he giggled.

"Your nothing but a sick weirdo!" She swiped at him as he leaned back.

"Limbo! Haha my dear little kitty! He's MY arch nemesis. We're practically married we hate each other so much! Tell me do you like flowers?" He asked and smiled, holding out a fake looking violet flower, which suddenly sprayed a clear liquid at the feline female. She screeched as he laughed, the corrosive acid burning her arm. "That'll leave a mark! Certainly nothing like the beautiful bruises my wonderful Bat leaves on me~" Batman could almost roll his eyes. This wasn't even about the diamonds anymore, the two villains were too caught up fighting over who he gave more attention to, of all things. Instead Joker's faithful henchmen were trying to get at the biggest diamond inside a glass case in the next room over, so he focused on taking them out and letting the other two sort out their argument.

"You're insane." She hissed up at the toxic haired man from on her knees. He giggled, red mouth bright against his pale skin.

"So I've been told! Tell me darling, what brand of lipstick do you use? It's positively divine! I must get myself some! Lips like mine need to feel good about themselves." He said making a kissy face as she looked at him disgusted.

"Good luck with that, no amount of dolling up will make you attractive in Batman's eyes." Sudden hate burned in Joker's toxic eyes and he smiled menacingly down at her. The woman flinched at the look.

"Oh my dear! You don't seem to understand! He's my knight, I'm the prince!" The Harlequin of Hate giggled, taking out a knife and stalking towards the other. Catwoman scampered to her feet, still holding her arm. "I just can't resist the dark and mysterious type." He whispered, ready to strike.

A hard blow to the temple with the hilt of a gun knocked the white skinned psycho out in an instant. Catwoman looked relived at her saviour clad in Kevlar.

Joker's henchmen had already been knocked out and tied waiting in the next room. He was lucky he had been able to catch the other unaware. Joker ready to kill was not something to be interrupted unless one had a death wish themselves. He was lethal enough when he was actually enjoying himself.

"Came to my rescue?" She asked with a seductive smile. Batman's face remained emotionless as he threw the gun away, far from reach, possibly glaring as he cuffed the limp man, but who could tell with the mask? The leather clad woman almost looked disappointed behind her pained cringes.

"No? I'll be seeing you round then." She quickly ran, setting off an alarm by knocking an expensive vase as she went. The loud screech of the alarm threatened to wake the thin clown as he began to groan and move.

Batman growled, pressed for time. The police would come and take care of the henchmen, but Joker was an entire new level of dangerous he doubted security guards could cope with. He'd rather not be caught here either, half the city still saw him as an outlaw after all. Rather than have the other escape custody three times in a month he threw the surprisingly light 'Prince' over his shoulder and left through the circular cut in the roof Catwoman had come in through. He was going to regret this, he knew it, but passing him over to the police was useless, he needed a new approach. This was all he could think of since he hadn't yet passed the cell designs over to Arkham. The prototype was finished at least, and now was as good a time as any to test it out with the very person it was designed for.

Joker stayed unconscious as he put him in the passenger seat of the Batmobile. The Dark Knight patted him down and removed all weapons, even harmless looking ones like the tube of lipstick in the others pocket, and checked his shoes. He left the shoes in the street on account of how unnaturally heavy they were, leading him to believe they probably had metal in them. His socks were, unsurprisingly, a deep purple and covered in Cheshire cat smiles.

With the other completely unarmed, without even his suspenders which could be used as weapons, he stood a minute, watching the other unsure. When the albino only shifted slightly and moaned quietly, face deceitfully calm, he got in the car, ignoring his internal mind battle.

"I'm going to regret this." He grumbled silently to himself as Joker smiled sweetly in his sleep. The car sped off, leaving the Joker's accessories laying in the street outside the museum.

The entire drive he remained tense, worried the other might jump him, and if he was even unconscious still. His eyes flickered back and forth from the road and Joker's thin white wrists which were cuffed in silver.

There must have been something wrong with him today. If the maniac got out he could find out his identity, but the cell would hold him right? Hopefully. He still couldn't help feeling his decision had been an incredibly stupid one.

Back in the cave he leapt from the Batmobile and picked the, thankfully, still unconscious clown up in his arms. There was a loud clatter of metal and the Puppeteer of Pandemonium shifted in his arms, but didn't wake. Batman's head rose to look for the source.

Alfred stood looking stupefied, having just dropped the tray of food and tea he'd brought. Again Bruce felt as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Master Bruce, do excuse my bluntness but you are as potty as the mass murderer in your arms." Bruce rolled his eyes, finding the comment a slight exaggeration.

"Get the foam mattress and a plastic bucket."

"Sir, you must realize you endanger your identity and life bringing a mad man into your 'basement', as it were." Bruce placed the other in his chair for the time being, keeping a close eye on him as he replied to Alfred.

"I am well aware Alfred, and your opinion is dually noted, now please go fetch the mattress and a bucket." Alfred sighed but complied.

"Very well sir." As the old butler left Bruce got to cleaning up the smashed china and spilled food off the floor, all the while keeping one eye trained on the Joker. The clown remained still, wavy green locks resting on his relaxed white face. Without his constant smile the scars on his cheeks were far less menacing and more pity inspiring. He looked almost innocent, delicate even. Nothing like a psychopathic clown mass murderer. In fact he didn't look much like a clown at all, more of a punk transvestite who needed a lot more sun.

Alfred returned with the rolled-up mattress and a bucket, Bruce unlocking the metal door on the plastic prison with a key pad. He carried the Joker in, freezing as the other shifted, only to cuddle up to him and mumble something incoherent. He carefully placed him down on the mattress and left slowly, locked the door behind him.

"Shall I get some more food sir? Perhaps some for your... 'Guest' also?" Bruce nodded, eyes still not leaving the other who lay in the clear prison. He looked so... human. Something about him was just so unthreatening and almost attractive it was wrong. Almost cute. He fought a cringe. Saying joker was cute was like putting a pink bow on Killer Croc and calling him adorable.

He sat himself in his chair, psychologically expecting an explosive whoopee cushion to sound, followed by Joker's irritating laughter. When nothing happened he continued to stare fixedly at the other, waiting for his unnaturally bright eyes to open. But they stayed shut, black eye makeup causing the area to look like dark voids in his stark white face. Like a panda.

Alfred returned with a silver tray in one hand and a bowl in the other. A plastic cup and plastic bowl had been brought for Joker with soup, bread, and water, while Bruce's tray held a lobster and tea. Honestly he didn't enjoy lobster and would have preferred the soup. Alfred took his leave and announced his adjourning for the night, suggesting he do the same. Bruce nodded inattentively, eyes never leaving the harlequin's face.

Once Alfred had left rather than consume the lobster he had been brought he ate the soup and bread, putting the lobster in the empty plastic bowl after ripping off the claws so they couldn't be used as weapons. He took the food along with the cup of water into the cell and left it by the door. Ignoring the silent urge to wake the other with a shake or a not so light foot tap he shut the door behind him, slightly louder than needed. Joker shifted but didn't wake.

Slightly disappointed he took a touch pad out his utility belt and checked it for any League messages or the like. Only Robin seemed to have contacted him, wondering when there would be another Justice League/Young Justice team up for his redheaded best friend's sake. Bruce just shook his head at the childishness of it, trying not to let himself smile slightly.

It was ten, surprisingly early to have already finished his patrol, not that he was complaining. Though it did mean he should catch up on work for Wayne Enterprise. Boring and repetitive as far as he was concerned. Giving in he put the pad away and took out a larger one, this from his computer draw, opening work related emails and looking over reports. He should probably move this back up into the manor with Joker down here, just in case he somehow accessed it, however unlikely that seemed. He'd learnt to not underestimate the other from various experiences.

"Batsy?"

Batman's head jolted up at the quiet mumble from inside the cell. Joker's usually burning eyes were now open, looking tired and confused like swirling pools of toxic waste, a pale ivy-gold haze. The man slowly sat up on the mattress, looking around from side to side groggily.

"Where am I?" He asked himself quietly, rubbing the side of his head where it no doubt hurt. "Oh! Is this the Bat-cave!?" He suddenly asked excitedly with a huge childlike smile, as if he'd just woken up in a carnival. Batman almost smiled. Well that was a quick recovery. "My my, what a treat! All that time wasted trying to track it down and here I am!" He giggled and looked around, tapping the plastic wall beside him. "A plastic cage hm? Am I to be your little pet then? I can't say I object, though I had no idea you were quite so... explorative." He said with a deviant smile. Batman didn't reply, quickly missing the other having been quiet.

"Mm yum, you’re even feeding me! Oh how sweet~" He purred, standing up to fetch the meal. "Lobster! Haha! My, what extravagant tastes you have!" He returned to the mattress with the meal, surprisingly carefree for having been captured. "You actually eat too?!" He looked on in shock at the vigilante's empty tray. Batman rose a brow at the other, of course he ate. "It just seems so strange." Joker explained coyly, beginning to eat the orange crayfish with his hands. He ate surprisingly quietly, dainty one second then violent the next as he ripped the shell apart and placed the white crayfish in his mouth. The silence was short lived as he ate through barely half before beginning to babble again.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure hm? Why treat me so? I can't say I've ever had such a generous kidnapper! Well, there was that one time with Two Face but that was more of a forced dinner meet up then an abduction." He chuckled at the memory and Batman narrowed his eyes. Why were Two Face and Joker meeting up for dinner? And why did it irritate him so much that they did? Could the two be planning a joint attack on Gotham?

"Oh my, did you start to undress me Batsy?" Joker asked with a suggestive grin. "Get cold feet half way? Or did you take a little peek underneath and leave as was, hm?" At Batman’s serious glare the other giggled, cuffs chinking. "Don't worry darling we all succumb to our urges eventually." He practically purred. "Me especially. Hmmm~ what's the bucket for?" Easily distracted and apparently finished eating, despite the lobster shell being only half finished he picked up the plastic black bucket and peered inside, appearing intrigued.

"Excreting." Batman finally spoke, causing Joker's look to twist with disgust as he dropped the bucket.

"I. Am. Not. An. Animal! I can't believe you would even suggest such a thing!" The man rambled on in distaste about the sheer horror of the notion, causing Batman to almost smile again. It wasn't often you found The Joker complaining with such passion and comically horrified an expression accompanying.

Batman stayed silent, watching the other as he yammered on. After a while the constant talk became almost... relaxing. Like the static of a television.

"Though you did make me such a lovely cage which is so very sweet. It's just for me too isn't it!? I bet you stayed up night after night designing and building it all for me! Awww I knew you cared!" He took a sip of water, meeting the other's unwavering gaze. "Mm, Batsy darling I must tell you I love the way your staring at me, creepy and unsettling really gets me going, but do you think a word or two will kill you? So far all you've spoken of is 'excreting'." He said with a disgusted expression.

"Be quiet." Gotham's Guardian replied.

"Now we're getting somewhere! Tell me, how did I end up here? Last thing I remember I was arguing with that infernal feline bitch," He covered his mouth playfully with a mock shock expression, "Oops, 'queen' I mean. So unfair female cats have such a dignified name while dogs do not. She's nothing like a queen after all! A petty thief! I know, I'm a prince." He said regally. "Hey pointy ears don't drift off on me, it's rude to fall asleep while someone’s talking!" Batman's head rose back up from where it had been lulling, realizing he had been about to fall asleep from the lullaby like white noise spewing from the other's mouth. "Where was I? Oh yes! She's nothing like a queen! Even Harley is more regal than her and that's saying something! Did you know that blond idiot mixed up my laughing gas with hydrogen once!? Though it was funny how everyone started talking high pitched after! Hihihi~ Hey Dork Knight where do you keep all your weapons? Surely they don't all fit in that nifty little belt of yours? Do you sleep down here or what? How about taking the mask off, do you ever do that? Oh! There are actual bats in here!" Joker's childish excitement continued on as the other's eyes slipped shut, leaning on his hand as the clown's voice seemed to dull. Joker continued to talk though, to the bats, to himself, and to the sleeping guardian, well aware he was unconscious due to his quiet snore. He giggled to himself and sung quietly, looking up at the bats in the cave ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

Batman's eyes slowly opened, blinking tiredly. He yawned and went to rub his face, freezing as his gloved finger touched bare flesh. His mask was off.

The Dark Knight shot up, immediately seeing the plastic prison empty. The mattress was jammed underneath the plastic wall, and cuffs were abandoned inside the cage. It appeared he forgot to nail it into the floor, and the other had simply lifted the side up and slipped out from under. Batman swore and ran through the cave, seeing no sign of the other, but an obvious mess left in his wake. He had done a fair bit of snooping through half the cave, then appeared to have found the stairs to the manor by the trail of villain and hero files left in his path.

Bruce ran up after him, bursting through the grandfather clock. He'd been asleep two hours. If the other wasn't here he could have been anywhere in Gotham, depending on when he got out. The idea was unsettling, considering how much information the other now held. Dangerous information on every gritty detail about every hero and villain he knew.

Without any clue to which way the other had gone he rushed to check the servant’s quarters. Alfred was still asleep and safe, thankfully, with no sign of the maniac nearby. He quietly left, dashing through the mansion to find the other. Nothing seemed out of order besides an expensive broken vase on his way through the upstairs hall. At least he knew he was going the right way, unfortunately this was the way to his room. Sure enough as he came to his door it was slightly ajar, a hushed humming coming from inside. Crap. Of all the rooms in a hundred-room house the other had found his.

Dreading what he'd find he carefully opened the door. Joker lay stomach down on his tossed satin sheets, swinging his legs in the air. He hummed quietly, inspecting a small sculpture in his hands that usually sat on Bruce's desk. It was a hideous silver demented body, and Joker seemed to like it. Even more disturbing than that the other appeared to have removed his trousers and shirt, having stolen one of his short sleeve black dress button-ups which was half undone and reached just passed his behind. His purple smile covered socks reached up to his thighs, making him look much like a woman from behind. Seeing the others shadow against the floor in the dark room Joker looked back over his shoulder at him, grinning dangerously.

"Well well! Mr Wayne! Who would have thought, Bruce Wayne of all people! The upstart millionaire brat! You have a huuuge house! I spent the last hour looking around! By the way, why is there an old man sleeping downstairs? Oh, and Robin is Richard Wayne! And what about The Flash? Barry Allen! Hahaha! He's married to that lovely little news reporter isn't he!?" Batman growled and stalked over, grabbing the other by the collar of HIS shirt and lifting him up onto his knees. Joker smiled gently and dropped the hideous and expensive sculpture on the sheets.

"Now now dear, don't get your panties in a twist, mine aren't!" He giggled, white hands touching the other's arms gently where his gloves ended. The soft touch was actually calming, and he found himself loosening his hold slightly. The idea of the other wearing a flimsy pair of knickers distracted him from noticing as he tried to wipe the thought from his mind.

"I know that look, thinking something dirty are we?" He giggled as Bruce growled, tightening his grip again. Joker leaned in and whispered in a sing song tone.

"I know your secret~ Hihih~ Also did you know you snore! And your far more expressive without your mask on too! I love it~" He glared at the thin man, ignoring his innocent smile. "Tell you what, I promise not to tell anyone as long as you don't take me back to Arkham! How's that sound, hm Batsy?"

"I don't make deals with mass murderers."

"Oh please please please!" The fact that an insane clown with blackened eyes could pull off the puppy-dog eye look was severely unsettling, even more so the fact it actually made his resolve falter. He growled, at himself or the Joker he didn't know, and let the other go, shoving him back lightly. He fell back on his behind, shirt peeking up to reveal his red underwear, which was thankfully a pair of skin tight boxers and not panties.

"Put your pants back on." He grumbled down at the other. Joker crossed his arms and turned up his nose as he sat.

"Hm, only if you don't force me back."

"No."

"Then I'm staying right here." Bruce growled and grabbed the other to drag him up. Joker fought back, trying to slip away as the larger tried to manhandle him off the bed. He grabbed Joker by the collar again to try pick him up but the clown licked his cheek as he lifted him, giggling as Batman let go and wiped the saliva from his cheek.

"Ever heard of how people lick things to claim them?" He asked suggestively before Bruce grabbed him again.

They continued to struggle, Bruce losing his footing as the other kicked his thigh and falling forward. Before Joker could comment on the other joining him in bed they began to wrestle on the sheets. Finally he managed to pin the other, holding Joker down by his wrists under him and sitting on his hips to keep him still.

"Oh Batsy~ I didn't know you wanted me so badly, believe me the feeling is mutual." He purred seductively, wriggling underneath the other.

Batman glared as he pressed up into him, begging to be ravished with his enticing position. Bruce's eyes flickered for a second to the other's exposed white chest, scarred and bruised. Joker broke into a fit of laughter seeing the other actually looking at his body, and the raven-haired man growled from above him, getting up and throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

He continued to guffaw all the way back to the Batcave, body jolting against him. Bruce was honestly considering gagging the other so he didn't wake Alfred.

He opened the others cell and dropped the still tittering clown onto the mattress, pulling it out from under the cage with an echoing slam. Joker fell back with the sudden jolt and continued to giggle.

"See that's why I used the mattress to stop that horrid noise. It would have woken you!" He didn't reply and took out a new pair of cuffs, with a longer chain. Bruce looped the chain through one of the holes in the wall, made so the cage wasn't airtight, and grabbed the other's wrists to chain him.

"Oh kinky! Gonna spank me now?" He didn't reply, ignoring the other as he shamelessly wiggled his pert behind, and finished chaining the other. After taking a step away he took his pad out from his utility belt.

"Go on Bats darling! Draw me like one of your French girls~" He put on a female French accent and posed sexily on his side, hands held up by the chain as he giggled at his own joke.

"Where are your clothes?" He asked unfazed, typing on his pad.

"Oh, here and there. What are you doing?" The greenette asked curiously.

"Messaging the Chief of Police. I'll be dropping you off to him now." A look of horror passed Joker's features.

"No! Please, I'll be good!" He smiled innocently and batted his cloggy black lashes, heavy with mascara he now realized.

"No. You’re not my problem."

"Of course I am! How could you even think such a thing!? I'm your arch nemesis! It's your fault I am the way I am after all. Falling into that vat of acid was YOUR fault."

"You were a monster before then, now you just look like it."

"Le gasp! How dare you!" He put on a face of mock offence.

"Where are your clothes? You need to change before we go."

"NO!" Joker refused.

"You look like a prostitute."

"Oh, so you have taken notice!" He gave the other another seductive look and Batman growled, losing his patients.

"Fine. You can leave like that then."

"No!" Joker grabbed hold of the holes in the wall as Bruce tried to yank him away, unable to undo the cuffs as Joker evaded him. He did his best not to press the other against the wall with his body to keep him still, but Joker continued to refuse and stayed clinging to the wall.

"I'm not going back!" He shoved the other back off him and turned to look at the buff man with pleading eyes. "No! I'll be good if you let me stay! I'll just get out of Arkham anyway and there's the risk of your secret getting out!" The albino smiled nervously, as if trying not to appear desperate.

"If you’re so sure you can get out, why does it matter if you go back?" Joker shifted, looking uncomfortable.

"Pleeeease let me stay!" He whined out. Curiosity poked Bruce rose a brow.

"Not without reason." Joker fidgeted.

"Well, I give you purpose of course, like you give me! We need each other! We're nothing without one another! Two sides of a coin darling, you’re the tail!" He grinned and began to laugh his head off again. Bruce remained stoic. "Awww Batsy~ Why so serious!" He laughed harder, almost falling over if not for the cuffs. Bruce rubbed his face, exhausted again. Once the other had finished chuckling he went to take his wrist again, more gently this time, and undid the cuffs.

"NO!" He slammed into him, causing Batman to stumble back, but rather than running for the open door he dove for the mattress, lifting it and 'hiding' underneath. "I'm not coming out." He had the urge to kick the other, who was acting like a stubborn child. Joker hissed threateningly as he approached, making him stop. Wonderful, he'd now discovered a whole new level of weird with the clown. Batman pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned inwardly.

"Leave the cell and Arkham will be the least of your worries." He whipped around and slammed the metal door shut behind him, making a mental note to bolt the cell down and alter the blueprints. He left the room after throwing the useless cuffs onto the monitor desk, going upstairs and back into the mansion, deadlocking the grandfather clock door behind him.

He needed a long shower to wash away lingering sweat and the scent of the other, like the gunpowder and toxic chemicals that clung to his Kevlar suit. He'd have to have it thoroughly cleaned.

Bruce shed his second skin once safe in his room, leaving it in a pile so Alfred would wash it in the morning, and went into the adjoining bathroom. Glistening black tiles greeted him as he entered the glass case shower, forgoing his spa-bath in favour of a quick rinse under the huge silver shower head. Cold water hit his back like shards of ice, making him tense and cringe as the water slowly heated.

Steam rose as he sighed, leaning his head back to soak his short raven hair. Bruce rubbed his chin, feeling stubble beginning to grow and recalling he needed to shave again. Did the Joker ever shave? All men needed to shave, but it just seemed so odd, like how Joker had commented it was strange he actually ate. Apparently it was easy for both of them to forget the other was human.

Bruce furrowed his brows under the water. He'd gotten a weird reaction out of the other today. Weirder than usual. Usually after they fought either Joker won and slipped away or Batman won and Joker conceded, letting himself be cuffed and dragged back to Arkham. Now he was actually refusing to go back. Had something happened? Perhaps it had to do with the new warden Arkham had hired. He'd seemed fine when Batman did a background check. Maybe Joker was just finally sick of Arkham? He couldn't blame him. Shock therapy, mountains of pills, straightjackets, cold damp dark cells and solitude weren't exactly a nice way to spend the rest of your twelve life sentences.

After cleaning himself thoroughly as possible and shaving again so he didn't have to do it in the morning he dried and dressed in a loose t-shirt and pants. Annoyingly Joker's smell still clung to everything. He began to lose sense of whether it was his own scent or the other's anymore as he lay down on the huge bed, ignoring the Joker messed sheets. The pungent smell was inescapable, not entirely bad but still intoxicating, making it difficult to breath, like the smoke from a chemical bomb. A few more minutes of tossing and turning and the blue-eyed millionaire knew he'd get no sleep tonight, or was it morning? He hadn't bothered to check the time. To make matters worse he recalled he had a board meeting tomorrow at some point. He groaned, rubbing his face. Soon the under of his eyes would be as bad a Joker's.

Giving in he sat up, leaving his bedroom for the Batcave. Joker was probably asleep or had freed himself again. The realization made his pace quicken. The clock was still shut, so at least if he had gotten out he hadn't entered the mansion again. Down the stairs and into the Batcave he saw the transparent case was still erect. A sweet humming reached his ears, Joker laying on his stomach, swinging his legs in the air like a child. He let out a sigh of relief, staying in the shadows as he considered leaving. Why had he come down again? At least Joker had a nice voice as he quietly sung something the raven-haired vigilante couldn't understand. Knowing Joker's strange song choses it was probably best he didn't hear. With the other laying on his stomach it was impossible to tell he was actually taller than Bruce by half and inch, but about three quarters his size in width. People hardly ever counted on the other being taller as he had terrible posture, always hunching forward slightly. His figure was uncommon in men, having such feminine long legs. If he had any semblance of breasts and hips he'd think he was a woman. Bruce wrinkled his nose. No, that wouldn't suit the other at all.

"I'm just a sucker for pain~" The mossy haired villain looked peaceful as he sung, a soft non-threatening smile as he watched his own hand draw lazy shapes on the mattress. His eyes were calm, gentle even, and Bruce found himself wishing for once that he could be inside the other's insane mind, to know what could give him such an un-insane expression.

As if suddenly sensing his presence the Joker's smile disappeared as his head rose and his tune silenced, piercing pale-gold eyes suddenly trained straight where he stood in the shadows. A huge, sinister grin broke across his white face, ruining his almost pretty expression from only moments before.

"Ah, company! I missed you darling, we were getting so close earlier!" Bruce stepped out of the shadows, coming to stand beside the oversized hamster cage with his arms crossed. Joker grinned, looking him over. "I must say you look absolutely..." He paused, searching for a word as he often did. It was a purr when he spoke a second later, eyes twinkling like stars. "Vulnerable, in what you wearing." Bruce glared, eyes as cold and hard as the white covers of his Batman mask.

"Are you ready to leave yet?" He growled.

"No." Joker said sharply, smiling innocently at the other,

"Why not?"

"I want to stay." Bruce rose a brow.

"In solitary confinement?"

"I have you! We've already learnt so much about each other! You’re millionaire Bruce Wayne, I prefer to go pant-less. Such wonderful bonding!" He bat his eyelashes at the other, resting his chin on his hands.

"You’re being unusually civil." The blue-eyed millionaire observed, sounding unsure.

"I told you I'll be good." Bruce seemed to think this over a moment in silence, refusing to let the others vulnerable state and innocent expression waver his resolve. That was probably his plan, to lure him into a false sense of security.

"I won't have a murderer in my home." Joker sat up on his knees, facing the other through the plastic.

"No?" He scoffed. "Yet the most disgusting of all humans find their ways into your home, rich bastards who live off greed and false ignorance, like you." He grinned, looking up at the hero, fingers slipping through the holes in the plastic. He looked pissed, eyes burning. "Besides, so what if I kill a few measly people? What's so good about people? All they do is use and abuse~ I'm just showing them how it feels."

"How about the children you've killed? The parents and innocents." Batman snarled down at the other, trying not to raise his voice. Why was he listening to a psychopath justify himself anyway?

"Threatened to kill." Joker corrected raising a finger and looking profound. "I've never directly killed a child in my life. Deathly injured a few maybe, but they turn into monsters one day anyway. Ever heard the saying get 'em while their young?" He giggled, giving Batman a piteous smile as his ocean eyes swam with confusion. How lovely that he could finally read the other. "And no one's innocent, no one. Not even little newborn babes~ They carry their parents sin." He hissed before giggling, amused by Batman shocked expression. "I'm the Harlequin of Hate, dear Batty Boy," He explained, "I HATE people, in general."

"And me?" Bruce asked, face straight and eyes cold again.

"Ohh, that's a special kind of hate, for a special kind of human." Joker replied, dainty fingers trailing soft swirls on the plastic. Bruce found himself watching the other's hands, delicately painting with nothing.

"Buuuut," Joker continued, drawing his attention back to his face, "if I'm here I can't very well kill anyone can I? No heist to pull, no landmark to blow up, certainly no one worth torturing like back at Arkham, besides your good self of course. Though I can think of plenty things I'd rather do to you first." He whispered, hips swaying as he looked up through mascara thick black lashes. They had a stare off of sorts, and finding nothing obviously scheme-ish or threatening in what he could read of the other he conceded.

"Fine. You stay as long as you behave." Another mistake that would blow up in his face no doubt, but he always walked on a tightrope when it came to the Joker anyway.

The white skinned clown smiled genuinely.

"Yay!! Shall we seal the deal with kiss?" He made a kissy face and Bruce tried not to roll his eyes. How long till he got bored of trying to play with him he wondered, though being 'seduced' was better than trying to stop the other killing people and the like.

"You know what I'm at perfect level for right now?" Joker asked, grinning sexily. He looked directly at the other's crotch, which was at the exact height of his mouth currently. Batman's eyes thinned and he glared down at the other as he began to giggle and fell back on the mattress.

His arms relaxed from being crossed and he walked over to his leather chair, sitting down and watching the other.

"Oh! Gonna watch me again? Fun! Try not to fall asleep again~ I promise not to kill you even if you do, but really dear, etiquette!" There was something unsettling about the Joker's behaviour, it was too sane, for him anyway. Well, no matter what there was no way he'd fall for the act, but that didn't mean he couldn't keep the other happy. A real non-insane happy that appeared to keep his blood-lust in check. Like a child who wanted its way. Sometimes it was best to just give in, especially when said child could very easily slit half of Gotham's throats with no qualms. It was something one would never guess with his current state, bouncing as he sat on the bed like a kid.

He began to ramble again, about boredom and how he'd learnt to overcome it, unfortunately through practicing torture to Bruce's distain. He tried not to yawn, though the other probably noticed it anyway since he was looking at him so intently. The last thing he saw before his eyes slipped shut was Joker's form, laying on his side staring straight back, messy red mouth ever-moving.

"Fell asleep on me again hm dear? Tch, such terrible manners." He smiled lovingly and stared at the sleeping superhero, as weak and trusting as any other human. Pathetic really. He could slit his throat, but he had promised not to.

Bruce let out a snore, and Joker giggled quietly, laying on his side and letting his eyes shut. How odd, that he found himself calmed from the others inability to breath properly in his sleep. For the first time in many years the insane insomniac slept well.

 

§

 

Joker yawned and rolled over, finding his side suddenly cold with the movement. Frowning he peeked a sleepy eye open to investigate the sudden change in temperature. His eyes widened and he sat up fully, looking down at the item of clothing which had invaded his cell. Batman's cape, or rather one of his capes, a non-glide-able one by the look, was half draped over his body. He instantly tried to rid himself of the sickening warmth that spread in his chest from the vomit inducing sweetness of it. How horribly human of the other. The greenette rubbed his face, smudging the black on his eyes. Similar to the mark his makeup appeared to have left on the mattress. A white grease paint smoosh with a black tar like messy circle and red lipstick. He chuckled to himself. This was why you were supposed to remove makeup before bed. That shit was never coming off.

Doing a quick survey of the cave from where he sat in his little prison he knew the other wasn't here, and he had absolutely no way to tell what time it was either. His eyes widened at the site of a plastic plate with a piece of toast replacing the plastic bowel from yesterday and his water cup refilled. So breakfast had apparently passed. He abandoned the water and took a bite of the cold toast, cringing and deciding against eating for the moment as he threw it to the floor carelessly.

Bored he went over to the corner, going to lift the cell again and slip out. He frowned as it refused to yield, finding when he looked closer it had been glued down with sealant. Well that would take a while to get rid of. He could do it though, and he wondered why the other hadn't just bolted it down. He probably didn't want to wake him, either out of sentiment or enjoying the silence. Joker sat back on the mattress, escape plans forming. He'd have to get through the door now, a challenge to entertain him till his Bat's return. The door seemed simple enough, mobile battery operated, an electronic numerical lock. Really, he should have at least tried something hard, like an eye or finger print scan, though that could endanger the vigilante’s identity. He obviously had plans to sell the blueprints to Arkham. He scoffed, as if a hamster cage could hold him any better than a cold cement block back in the asylum.

Distracted from the door back to Batman's abandoned cape he picked the pile of black up from the mattress. The material was sturdy, hardly comfortable, but trapped heat well. He grinned. Role play was always fun.

Joker tied the loose ends around his neck and stood, doing a spin with a giggle. Oh yes, he could rock this cape. There was no way Bruce was getting it back. He'd pee on it as claim if he had to. That was the step after humping, which came after licking. His pet hyenas agreed, not that he peed on, humped, or licked any of them. But they were still his.

The sounds of steps from the staircase caught his attention and he turned to the stairs, watching as an old man came in to view. The man held a silver tray with another plastic plate of food, this time sandwiches. He stopped, seeming surprised the other was now awake. Quickly recovering from the sight of the messed clown wearing a cape and purple Cheshire socks he walked up to the door.

"Please stay by the mattress sir. You are still under video surveillance." Joker tried not to scoff, as if having a camera pointed at him was threatening. He basked in the limelight! "I have been advised to not enter your cell, even while asleep. Please do not make me regret my decision." Joker grinned and leaned back against the wall, slipping down to the floor with a daring grin.

"Ah what a wonderful accent you have! I'm just a fool for British men. You can say anything you like and people think it's Shakespeare!" He chuckled to himself, watching closely as the other entered the code in the pad. From behind all one needed to do was gauge the buttons that would be pressed on a normal keypad, and flip it. The door unlocked with the number 5653. This sent him in to full blown guffaws. 'Joke' was the only number equivalent of 5653. How sweet the other was, building this all just for him. He probably thought of him every second while doing this, if he didn't already. His thoughts certainly evolved around mister tall dark and handsome 90% of the time.

The old butler rose his brows at the offsetting sound of Joker's laughter, leaving the food on the floor near the door and taking the cold toast, obviously trying to look completely unfazed. He did rather well, but if the maniac knew anything it was that he had a knack for making people uncomfortable.

Joker grinned, ignoring the food, eyes following the man as he left. He lay back on the mattress, gently smoothing the cape corner and playing with the huge piece of black material.

"Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, valet of the Wayne household." Joker said, no longer looking at the other but the cape. "Such a long name! Hihihihi!" Alfred had stopped walking away and turned to the other, slightly fazed that the other had found out his full name.

"May I help you, Mr. Joker?"

"Mm, what time is it?"

"12:30 sir." His eyes widened slightly. He hadn't slept in till noon for years! Batman's snoring must have some sort of sleep spell attached.

"Where is Batman?"

"Mr Wayne is at work."

"Ugh, how dreary. Hmm, say did you know w is double u when you say it aloud!" Joker cracked up in laughter, doubling over. "How very unimaginative scholars are!"

"Very humorous sir." With that Alfred turned, going to leave with his silver tray. Joker still chuckled, the old butler seeing his creepy grin and unwavering stare as he looked back a moment.

"Hey, butlers are good at keeping secrets right?! How ‘bout this one!" His tone turned dark. "Your master's a beast, but if you or anyone else calls him that, I'll rip out your lungs with my bare hands! Hahaha!" Alfred left quickly, the sound of Joker's demented laughter echoing off the stairs, only silencing when he locked the grandfather clock behind him with a relieved sigh.

Joker still grinned after him, eyes glowing with a tint of bloodthirsty insanity.


	3. Chapter 3

The Dark Knight leapt out the Batmobile, landing gracefully as he finally returned to the cave. It was late, almost midnight. First he had a full day at the office, then Catwoman had decided to finish that robbery from the night before. She was now in the hands of the police, and he would have a fair few scars to show for it. Thank God he had a few spare suits, this one was totalled.

If he was lucky Joker would be asleep, like he had been when he left that morning. That had been mildly pleasing, despite the pain in his neck from having slept sitting. The other had been laid out on his side, body tucked close. His painted face was even more of a mess than usual, and once in a while he would mumble something or smile softly. Having noticed the other shivering he had retrieved a spare cape and draped it over him. Alfred had come down not long after and they had left the cave for the lounge. Needless to say Alfred had not been happy to find Joker had found out his identity and could escape at any time really. He had then snuck back and sealed the prison to the floor before readying himself for the office.

Despite not being happy about the arrangement Alfred was nothing if not loyal and dependable, promising to feed the other as long as it was safe. All day and not one Joker related incident, he was beginning to worry.

"Look who's back!" Said green haired announced as Bruce entered the main part of the cave. "Where did you go off to?" He leaned against the glass, wearing Bruce's cape over his shoulders as he smiled towards the other. The grin wavered as he noticed his roughed state. Bruce opened the heavy metal door and entered, picking up the plate of half-eaten rice from the floor. The bucket he had left the other with was still unused.

Joker's smile had disappeared. He looked... worried.

  
"Bruce?" Why his heart fluttered he didn't know. Probably heartburn or something, certainly nothing to do with the other's caring eyes and inviting state. When he didn't reply Joker frowned and carefully walked closer. Batman stiffened but waited, mentally ready for any attack.

When they were only a few centimetres apart Joker made his intension obvious before he touched the other, gently running a finger over a few exposed and bleeding cuts on his bicep. The touch sent sparks through his veins.

"Catwoman decided to finish the heist." Joker froze, suddenly looking angry. He quickly turned and walked over to the mattress, sitting down like a child pulling a silent tantrum. "She's been arrested." Batman continued, confused by the others reaction, but was ignored, Joker's toxic eyes burning holes in the wall beyond.

Unwilling to deal with the man's mood swings Bruce left, slamming the heavy-duty door behind him and leaving the plastic plate on the bench for Alfred to fetch. Less than ten minutes and Joker had already managed to piss him off, by being pissed off at him for absolutely no logical reason. One second he was happy, then he'd been all caring and then he'd suddenly decided to be angry with him! It was like he had a hormonal pregnant wife or something. He quickly shook the disturbing image of the other as a pregnant woman from his mind. Spending time with the maniac was sending him looney. Perhaps insanity was infectious?

As usual after a long night he removed his suit and disinfected his deeper wounds. Alfred had changed his sheets so hopefully he'd be able to sleep peacefully in it tonight. The butler had also found all the remnants of The Joker's clothing and left it in a folded pile in the cave. Apparently when he'd offered it to the clown faced villain earlier he'd politely refused and started rolling around on the mattress, giggling and hugging his cape close. He had a feeling he wouldn't be getting that back.

The business man did his best removing himself of the heavy odour of perfume and cigarettes from his employees at work as he changed. The horrendous smell lingered on his skin worse that Joker's unnatural scent. He'd probably need a shower.

Dressed in a plain shirt and trousers his eyes caught sight of something silver on the ground. He picked up the forgotten sculpture and looked it over, wondering why he'd bought it. It's arms and legs were missing as it seemed to writhe on its arched back, headless and genderless with an unnaturally thin waist. The position could be considered sensual, if it wasn't so deformed. He could imagine Joker in the same position, with all his limbs still intact, panting or pleading wantonly. His waist was probably about the same size too.

He quickly put the figure down on a clear table surface and tried to put his mind in check. The last thing he needed was some sort of erotically filthy dream about the other. He infected his mind enough while he was awake.

He should probably check the other before he went to bed himself. Just to make sure he was secure and maybe even asleep again, hopefully not still sulking for no reason. Bruce nodded to himself, convinced he was calm enough to face the maniac without having the urge to hammer his face with his fists. Besides, Bruce thought walking down to the cave, there was little he could do to piss him off while caged in a plastic cube, no matter how well he manipulated and flaunted.

He really shouldn't have been surprised to see the cell door wide open. The ravenette groaned inwardly, rubbing his face. Yet again Joker had somehow achieved the impossible, destroying his resolve to not pummelling the other in the process.

The was a loud crash, coming from his Room of Relics. At least the maniac was still in the vicinity. Batman stormed towards his little museum of souvenirs, stopping to survey the scene as he entered. Several breakable items were shattered across the floor, while less breakable object like one of Catwoman's whips had somehow been sliced to bits. Joker hummed as he vandalized, a dagger he had stolen from the display in his hand.

He inspected a past villain's ceramic mask inside a glass case, smiling before shattering the box with the dagger hilt. He picked up the mask, melding his expression to match the grinning masque.

"Put it down." Bruce growled and Joker's head shot towards him looking shocked. He stayed completely still a few seconds before deliberately dropping the artefact. Bruce cringed as it smashed against the cave floor. The ravenette clenched his fists, using all his willpower to not lose it and drag him straight into Arkham without his suit on.

"Joker." The vigilante growled, glare promising death.

"Yes?" The thinner bat his lashes, looking innocent once again, as if he hadn't just destroyed a priceless artefact.

"How did you get out?" Joker began walking the room again unfazed, keeping his focus on the memorabilia as he walked towards the fuming bat impersonator. He carelessly handed Batman an electronic pulsar, which appeared to have been a part of his utility belt, and continued looking around. Bruce looked at the pulsar in shock, face-palming the next minute. He must have pick-pocketed it from him when he'd gotten close earlier. Of course, there was always a method to the other's madness.

"You know I'm really flattered you have a museum filled with tokens from our past battles." And now only his tokens, as all the others had all been destroyed. "Little obsessed aren't we darling?" He purred seductively, met by a serious cold glare. "Oh come on Bruce~"

"Do not call me by name." Joker giggled, sitting atop a deactivated robotic hyena he had made long ago, before he got real ones (liberated from the Gotham zoo not long after they had arrived). "You were told not to leave the cell."

"That was yesterday! Today I was bored and decided to... explore~" He swung his legs, pale creamy thighs exposed. "I didn't break much." Bruce growled, fighting back a 'bullshit'.

"Get. Back. In. Your. Cell." The green haired man was totally unfazed by his threatening tone.

"Gonna hit me?" Joker asked, sounding excited. When the other didn't respond, relaxing his fists instead and un-setting his jaw the greenette groaned, looking disappointed. "But Brruuuuce! It's so inhumane! A bucket as a toilet!? I'm not an animal, I can't pee while being watched by your surveillance!"

"Too bad." He replied sharply to Joker's whining.

"Oh Batman you pervert~" His soft but sexy upturned lips were quickly becoming more than mildly irritated.

"You either stay in there or I take you to

Arkham."

"NO! I want to use the bathroom!" He slammed his hands on the deactivated hyena android, pouting aggressively like a child on strike.

"You've done nothing to earn that privilege."

"I can earn it if you step a little closer~" The greenette persisted flirtatiously. Batman's stare remained cold and his eyes narrowed as he tightened his crossed arms. Sensing the other's refusal to back down at his charms Joker glared back, before kicking his legs and squealing like a hyperactive juvenile that wanted more sweets.

"But I can't tinkle while I'm being watched!"

"I'll turn off the surveillance a moment."

"I need a shower." The masculine man groaned inwardly, rubbing between his eyes. The albino would come up with excuse after excuse till he caved, there was no point in causing himself more pain listening to the other ramble and have a childish fit.

"Fine." Joker smiled brightly, hopping off the robot and practically skipping towards the exit. Bruce followed silently, eyes never leaving the other and body ready to spring if the thin puppeteer tried to flee. He knew where to go, leading Bruce back up to the vigilante's room.

He'd wanted to take him to a spare shower, preferably on the other side of the house, but Joker rushed ahead before he could drag him in the opposite direction. He slipped in the bedroom before Bruce and he hurried after the other, finding him already elbow deep in his draws and stealing a fresh oversized shirt. He smiled cheekily at him, having been caught, and slipped into the adjoining bathroom, moving like lightning. Batman grabbed his shoulder before he could shut the door. Joker feigned surprise. His shirt was already fully unbuttoned, having started on the journey up.

"What? Want to join me? Oh Batsy you pervert~" Batman growled but Joker's challenging smile didn't waver.

"Try anything and I'll make you suffer."

"I thought you wanted me to behave? Oh, you make it so hard to be good when you tempt me." He giggled and suddenly poked his nose, leaving Bruce stunned a moment as he slipped out of his clothes and then flung something at his face, shutting the door behind him. Batman looked down at the clothes in his arms that had been thrown at him in surprise. It was the shirt, underwear and socks Joker had been wearing a second ago. Truly the clown never ceased to amaze him.

The water spray sounded and Joker began to hum, probably intentionally just to ensure him he wasn't going anywhere. It worked and Bruce relaxed against the wall, shutting his eyes and listening to the unfamiliar tune he had been singing earlier.

"I wanna chain you up, I wanna tie you down~ I'm just a sucka for pain~" Bruce wrinkled his nose at the lyrics, through the other's voice wasn't unpleasant at all.

The dirty clothes the other had been wearing now lay in his arms. With the other showering he could probably fetch his actual clothes, back in the Batcave. Unsure if he should he stared fixedly at the shut door, then down to the clothes in his arms. Deciding to act with caution he took a bat-monitor from his utility belt, which he wore even as he slept. Bruce placed the mini speaker in his ear and the small microphone by the door, hearing the other's hum and the spray of the water right in his ear. He quickly left for the cave after throwing the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, going downstairs without a sound, pressing the speaker into his ear. Back in the cave he easily found the bright purple pants and white shirt folded atop one of his desks, used for tinkering with weapons, before hurrying back to the top floor. The shower stopped but Joker's humming continued, Bruce hurrying up the steps and rushing back to the room, slipping in silently before Joker left the bathroom. He removed the mic and earpiece, shoving them back in his belt before retaking his silent position by the bathroom door holding the fresh clothes. He felt almost like a servant for the crime 'prince' rather than a guard.

Joker's humming silenced and Batman found himself stiffen, tense watching in the corner of his eyes. For a while it was silent and he began to worry, before the toilet flushed and the tap sprayed. After a moment it switched off, the door opening a second later and a pale form slipping out. Bruce, having had years of mental training and complete control of his body, was barely able to suppress gaping.

There was absolutely no makeup, the scars on his cheeks painfully obvious. Joker wore only the millionaires white long sleeve, toxic hair still dripping. His eyebrows and eyelashes were also striking green, and even without makeup the maniacs skin was almost white. White like the scars on either side of his, though stained pink from wearing too much lipstick, now unusually pale lips. The monster's pasty skin was littered with purple and green bruises, overlapping colourless scars. The Joker smiled, significantly less intimidating without the makeup that once caked his face.

"Staring Batsy? Do I, intrigue you?" Bruce redirected his raking gaze to the other's playful lime lashed eyes.

"Get dressed." He held out the clothes to him, which Joker inspected with a snobbish gaze before turning away flippantly.

"No. I'm comfortable, though I do request the return of my socks. It's rather chilly~" He whispered close to the other's ear before going over to sit on the king bed, legs crossed and upper thighs exposed, along with the base of his shapely behind. The shirts hem was riding up dangerously on his underwear-less form.

"Put on the pants."

"Why? Having trouble not starring~?" He grinned and chuckled as Bruce's eyes flickered down to his legs a moment. The bruises were like a disease, but he couldn't find a single hair across the mattered skin. The other's thighs were thin and firm like his calf’s, smooth knees and lean ankles. They were overall rather... Nice. Joker giggled again.

"Staring at my legs are we? Before you ask, no I don't wax, that little chem bath I took a while back had wonderful cosmetic properties. No body hair except my head! I can't even grow proper facial hair, not that I want to, disgusting things beards. It took a while to get used to. Hairlessness, not beards I mean. Though I'm not technically hairless but still." Bruce waited patiently for the other to finish babbling, almost amazed at how he could jump from one emotion to another. He had been mad not long ago, when he'd gotten back from detaining Catwoman. He never did find out what it was that had upset him.

Joker had begun rambling about the rooms drab black decor and excitedly sat on the bed after rediscovering his satin sheets, now a deep plum colour he certainly seemed to appreciate.

"Why were you angry?"

"Hm?"

"Earlier, when you stole the pulsar."

"Borrrroooowed, I gave it back remember. Besides I didn't even steal it, I lifted it." The greenette insisted, as if there was a difference. "Well darling, you should know by now. I'm the jealous type." As he was close enough, having been inching forward so the other didn't make a break for the window or something, Joker grabbed the front of Bruce's shirt, pulling him close enough he could whisper in his ear.

"I don't like sharing my Batsy." The other's gentle voice pleasantly tickled his ear, lips ghosting the skin so close he could hear as the mad man licked his lips. He pulled back, his shirt slipping from Joker's fingers.

"Go back to your cell. Now." Joker pouted and looked away.

"So stingy, it’s so nice up here but I have to stay down in the damp dark cave." He huffed.

"Well if you weren't a mass murderer I wouldn't have to." Joker only huffed again, crossing his legs and arms as he looked away. Thankfully the shirt was long enough it covered the other's crotch. He was surprised at how high up the bruises went though, some even looked like hand marks. Confused he continued to study the man’s skin.

"See something you li-"

"Where are these marks from?" He interrupted.

"Well you can be a tad possessive darling." Joker said still not looking at him.

"You think I made these?" He asked unconvinced.

"Pfft, oh no, though I love the marks you leave on me, theeese, are from my recent stay at Arkham." Batman rose a brow, the only reaction he'd allow to seep through his cold demeanour.

"You were supposed to be in solitary confinement." He all but growled.

"I didn't say they were from the other inmates." Batman's gaze turned deadly, trying to decide whether or not the other was lying. "What? You don't think the 'patients' don't get abused in there?" The word patients was a hiss, a mockery of the term. "I'm just glad half of those idiot guards are too terrified to even get near my cell, let alone in it! Hahaha! The looks on their faces the time a newbie came by and thought he could assault me just because I was sedated! Ha! Torturing him was fun." He sighed, as if recalling a happy memory as he relaxed on the hero's bed. Batman tried to cool his simmering unsettlement.

"You torture everyone who assaults you?" He questioned, getting exactly the answer he wanted, the answer that left a pit in his stomach.

"Depends what kind of assault. Usually I'll do a quick kill, but if they try something reeealy bad, then I'll teach them a lesson, for the sake of myself and my fellow inmates of course!" Admitting he was disturbed by the news was an understatement. People went to Arkham for help, not to be bullied and abused so they became worse.

"Aww, why so glum pointy ears? You look like someone kicked your puppy." Joker pouted with mock sympathy. No, someone had assaulted his arch nemesis, and somewhere in his recently twisting mind they were apparently very similar occurrences. His brain was too muddled with exhaustion.

"Please don't send me back." Joker whispered, making Bruce give him his attention. He wasn't looking at him, but rather at the ground. If there was a time he thought he'd find Joker looking scared, like a helpless child, it certainly wasn't on his bed, in one of his shirts, littered with bruises and suffering mental trauma from Arkham's treatment.

"I promise not to take you back yet, as long as you stay in the vicinity of your cell." Joker looked up at him surprised, before breaking out in a huge grin. Not frightening or disturbing as usual, an actual mentally sound expression of joy. A thing he thought impossible for the other till this day. Joker nodded happily and stood up.

"Gonna escort me back to my room, Mr. Wayne?" Joker asked flirtatiously, hanging from his arm. He allowed the contact, wary of the other reaching under his shirt for his utility belt as he walked him back to his cell. The maniac giggled and began to ramble as usual, this time about the mansions lack of exciting colours, seeming attached to Bruce's arm one second then letting go and looking around the hall the next, always keeping pace with the other. Back at the clock Bruce tried not to roll his eyes as Joker actually blushed and thanked him for opening the door and letting him through, making a comment on his good manners towards a 'lady' such as himself. Sometimes it really was glaringly obvious the other had a few random personas bouncing around in his head.

He put the other back in his cell, changing the code as he went, though he doubted it would make much difference as the circuits were still half fried, and nodded to the other's bid of goodnight before he left. He hardly noticing the gently almost loving smile he was sent from the man laying down on the mattress cuddling his cape. Honestly he had been too busy holding down his temper the entire time to notice much.

People were actually assaulting the patients at Arkham, and he dreaded what Joker had meant by having someone try something 'really bad'. If it was bad in the books of a deranged villain then God knows what he would make of it. And those bruises, as if someone had been gripping his hips...

It clicked. The bruises, the sudden desperation to avoid Arkham, pining after him as if for attention, comfort, reaffirmation. It made his blood boil. These people were supposed to be being rehabilitated, and instead they were being made victims to the whims of those even sicker than themselves. It wasn't often he swayed his morals on justice and death penalties, but these bastards deserved it. He shamefully admitted in his own mind he wanted to wring the neck of whoever dared try touch Joker. The thought was unsettling.

Perhaps Joker was right, he was a tad possessive. That was even more unsettling.

Bruce groaned, back in his room, doing his best to ignore the thoughts and try succumb to exhaustion. It was probably morning by now too. He shouldn't waste sleep over something he couldn't fix at that moment. It didn't matter right now anyway, Joker was safe, and he'd have those in power replaced soon enough. He'd sift out the corrupt and fucked up himself, have all the staff who even looked dodgy removed, and those who didn't also just to be sure. It was supposed to be a mental-hospital more than a prison.

He rubbed his face again. This was getting him nowhere, and he was beginning to smell unacceptable. Sighing he got up and retreated to the bathroom, stripping as he went. He was going to have a shower in the morning anyway, and it was probably technically morning by now. The water would do well the wash his insecurities away, and relax his now aching muscles.

Sure enough the water did its work, Bruce content to simply stand under the spray. He could almost chuckle at the disarray of his hair and body cleaning products, half empty, knocked over and covered in white hand marks from Joker's face paint. If it meant the other was naked to him he couldn't care less. Facially naked he meant, not, bodily. Though the other seemed rather keen to get his clothes off around him, considering he claimed to have been assaulted. Perhaps he felt safe? In a sick, twisted and insane way only he would truly understand.

The millionaire retreated from the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, now feeling far more relaxed and ready to pass out on his silken sheets. He probably wouldn't even bother dressing tonight.

Unfortunately, he found as the bathroom door slowly opened, he wouldn't be able to sleep quiet yet, nor do so naked apparently.

"Get out."

Joker lay stomach down on the bed, looking straight at him with a seductive smile and half shut eyes, legs in the air and half his perky white ass exposed. His smile grew even wider as he noticed the other take this specific detail in, counteracting by raking his eyes over the others exposed torso. His smile suddenly flipped, turning to a scowl. It made the image of the other slightly less enticing.

The greenette suddenly wouldn't meet his eyes, mumbling something about cat's and death wishes. It was enough for him to catch on the other was being moody about his scratches from the leather wearing cat enthusiast. He could almost laugh at the others possessive nature, but Joker did enough laughing for the both of them.

"I told you if you left the cell you would-"

"You said if I left the cell's vicinity I would go back to Arkham." He spat out, still not meeting his eyes. "This mansion is in the vicinity of my cell, so technically I'm still doing as I'm told." He insisted as Bruce groaned inwardly, fetching himself clothes in order to escort the other back and make the rules a little clearer. Jokers eyes returned to him, staring fixedly at his back.

"I had a bad dream." The green haired clown said innocently. "Let me sleep with you."

"No."

"Oh come ooon, I don't want to be all alone, Bruuuceeeey~" His name was dirtily moaned out and the other turned onto his back, arching his body as he moaned.

"Don't use my name, and leave the room so I can dress."

"I don't mind seeing you naked, rather looking forward to it actually." Bruce glared coldly at the other. "What? Never changed in front of other boys in the locker room? Or did you hide in the stalls? Oh! Could Gotham's ghoulish gallant be gay!?" Bruce fought not to roll his eyes. "It all makes sense! You-" The double lived man cut him off before he could begin to ramble about his sexuality.

"I sleep only with women." He defended, going to simply change in the bathroom and then drag the other out once he was dressed.

"Ah but that doesn't mean you love them~ nothing to be ashamed of doll, I've made it pretty obvious I'm queer in all sense of the word~" He giggled and licked his lips, still looking straight at the other. Bruce could see the other clearly on his bed from the bathroom mirror in front of him as he went to shut the door behind him.

"Brrruuuuce~" Joker moaned, shutting his eyes and writhing enticingly as he displayed himself, shirt riding up to his ribs and legs wide open in offering. "Come to bed with me~" Bruce refused to stare at the other's pale form, surprised he hadn't already snapped him in half from his almost delicate looking paper body, obvious want straight between his open legs. Joker pouted when the other didn't take his offer immediately, clenching slightly so his pink pucker twitched enticingly.

"Come on Batsy~ Is it ‘cause you hate me? Is it ‘cause I kill for fun?"

"Your sadism is sickening." Bruce bit, exhausted and trying not to look at the other through the mirror. Joker smiled.

"If I stopped killing would you love me?"

"No." His reply was automatic, and he watched as the others smile melded into a shocked look of heartbreak.

It was as if he'd burst in to tears at the seemingly obvious reply. Before Bruce could open his mouth and order him back to his cell he suddenly stood, covering himself with the shirt as much as he could and wrapping his arms around himself as he left quickly without a sound. The vigilante sighed in relief as the door shut and began to dress, flopping on the bed once he was done. He'd deal with Joker later in the day, till then it was still dark so hopefully he could get some rest. His pillow had acquired that smell again though, of chemicals, gunpowder and greasepaint. He found in his already half asleep state he actually rather liked it, as if that scent belonged to the heart of Gotham itself. All that was missing was sweat and an expensive musk like he wore which was yet to imprint on the satin, and then the pillow really would have the smell of the heart of Gotham, he mused before dreams of his city and toxic green curls invaded his mind. He hadn't even bothered checking if the other went back to his cell.

 

§

 

Bruce sighed contently as the scent of Earl Grey wafted past his noise, opening an eye to see his butler enter the room with a silver tray of tea. The sun peaked through his heavy drapes, informing him it was around seven. The blackette's body resisted as he sat up, begging for more rest, but at Alfred's 'bad-news' expression he frowned and waited for the other to speak.

"I regret to inform you sir, but it appears Mr. Joker has made his escape in the night." Bruce was up in an instant, flashing past and making his way straight to the Batcave. Alfred hung back, following slowly.

He flew down the grandfather clock steps into the cave, freezing as he met the bottom and surveyed the destruction.

The monitors had been smashed with his office chair it seemed, which was also broken and lay on its side on the cave floor. One of the cells walls was cracked but intact. All his draws had been emptied and thrown around, and there were even dents in the metal cave support beams. Joker had certainly had one hell of a tantrum. It looked more like a hurricane had passed through.

Spotting an unbroken touch pad on the ground Bruce retrieved it and accessed the surveillance cameras, playing the mornings footage from when Joker entered the cave at 2:13am. Batman watched closely as the other walked towards his cell, head heavy as he held himself, shoulders shaking every now and then. He entered the open cell, seeming unaggressive as he backed up against the clear wall and gently shook, slipping to the floor still holding himself. He stayed like that, body wracked with silent sobbing for around ten minutes, when it appeared he had fallen asleep. He would have thought he did if he hadn't suddenly stood, fists clenched and body rigid as he stalked out the cell, kicking the plastic bucket on the way as he began his rampage. First the monitors were destroyed, which he originally smashed with his fist, glass and blood obviously embedded in his flesh as he grabbed the chair and flung it at the largest monitor. A few bats which were still in the cave panicked and caused a swarm, leaving the cave by their own means as Joker caused a ruckus.

The cell was treated in a similar fashion to the monitors as he kicked, punched, and threw everything he could get his hands on, blood staining the white shirt more and more as he went. Approximately seventy-five thousand dollars in damage later he finally stopped, standing shaking in the middle of the cave before he sunk to his knees, face in his bloodied hands. Eleven minutes later at 2:46 he got back up, holding himself again as he swayed on his shaky legs. He looked back at the destruction he'd cause and his cell before turning back at the ground. After a minute of thought he slowly made his way towards where the Batmobile was parked, finding the mechanism to open the tunnel road that lead out the cave. Head down he limped out, hair whipping from the outside wind. The tunnel shut and Joker was gone.

Batman stared at the tablet another moment before flinging it at the wall, watching it shatter as he tried to keep a hold on his temper. The feeling in his gut was unexplainable, illogical. Why should he feel guilt for the actions of that maniacs unsettled mind? It wasn't his fault Joker had hurt himself. The other's actions were unexplainable, he reasoned. It didn't matter why he had reacted the way he did. He now knew the cell was ineffective, and he knew he would catch the other again, then return him to Arkham, which he would eliminate of corruption. Everything that had happened was all just the results of an experiment he had already known would fail.

"Sir, I'm afraid you have a meeting at 8:00am. Shall I cancel it and order replacements for the damaged equipment?" Alfred asked from the steps behind. Bruce didn't meet his gaze, standing straight as he continued to look the cave over. His voice was strong and clear as he spoke.

"I will attend the meeting. Order the necessary items and get the limo. I will meet you out front once I'm ready."

"Very well sir."


	4. Chapter 4

The grey polluted clouds gave a depressed feel through the small gap in the dark drapes, traveling slowly through the midnight sky. The moon was powerless against the darkness, no light in the black sky.

Bruce lay, wide ocean eyes staring up at the ceiling. Sleep evaded him. Patrol with Robin across Gotham had finished an hour ago, having taking down a few low-class criminals before returning to the Wayne manor. He'd been off, he knew that even without Robin's concealed concerned looks. Despite the looks he was glad to have his adoptive son back after a month with the rest of the Young Justice team on a training camp. He was currently knocked for six and fast asleep in his room, and probably would be for the whole of tomorrow after the boot-camps regime.

There had been no big explosions in the last two weeks at least, not since he'd hospitalized two face. He'd also interrogated Catwoman before she was sent to a high-security prison out of Gotham. When questioning her even she had commented on his distracted behaviour.

'Thinking of your little AWOL Albino of Anarchy?' She'd asked. He'd almost hit her for it, and he hadn't even found her mildly sexually attractive, out of her suit but still curvaceous with curly blond locks. Something was definitely wrong with him. The thought of inviting a woman over to uphold his playboy image didn't temp him in the slightest. Even Two-Face's lovely partners, the sexy devil woman and beautiful angel girl wearing hooker clothes constantly attached to the split personality mobster’s sides, had been nothing but background. The reason for the villain's hospitalization was his ill placed comment of killing Joker before he could. Even he didn't know why it had birthed such a fierce reaction from him. The madman was better off dead, was he not?

It had been three weeks since Joker disappeared, and no matter where he looked it was as if the clown had vanished from Gotham. It almost worried him. Just two days of listening to the other and now the sudden silence was driving him mad.

He'd never admit to anyone the dreams he'd had of the other, plaguing him nightly. They were the only things keeping him from tipping over the edge, as crazy as it was. It was probably due to the fact he had ordered Alfred not to change the sheets since Joker had left. His scent still lingered. That drop of insanity was keeping him sane.

Bruce groaned and rubbed his face. It was true wasn't it? He really was obsessed with the maniac. And now he'd done the most insane and stupid thing possible. He'd developed feelings for the mass murderer.

Bruce slammed his head into the pillow. He was fucked. Perhaps Alfred was right, he may need a therapist. Another hour of laying there and he was still no closer to sleep. Deprivation was beginning to make him hear things, like light steps as if someone were climbing up the wall outside, and the clink of the lock being picked, before the window to his back was slid open.

Bruce's eyes shot open as someone snuck in the window, gently slipping onto the floor as the curtains rustled. The millionaire re-shut his eyes and feigned sleep as steps neared his bed. Batman's hands carefully moved to grace his utility belt, hidden under his shirt.

The steps were too light to be that of a bulky male. Likely as assassin or a thief, more likely an assassin as a thief would not risk entering an occupied room when so many others were empty. They were being careful, but obviously not trained in silent approaches. He felt them get closer slowly, and carefully crouch by the bed. Bruce clutched a baterang, waiting for the other to strike. But they didn't. Two minutes and the intruder had not moved. He felt them shift before fingertips barely touched his cheekbone. He didn't flinch, even as the others hand graced the side of his face, slipping down till his fingers slipped across the black-haired man’s jaw. A stalker then perhaps? Soft breath blew over his lips, the distinct scent of cosmetic toxins. Dry, pasty, smooth lips grazed his, delicately and cautiously as not to wake him.

Bruce's eyes slipped open to meet the deduced intruders black smudged eye makeup. Joker's blood lipstick messed lips moved softly against the fake sleepers, as Bruce's hand slipped slowly from his utility belt to the hand on his face. Joker froze and his eyes flew open as Batman's lips responded to his, and a quick hand grabbed his wrist with an iron grip. The maniacs eyes glowed with alarm as he yanked away, trying to run and struggling to removed Bruce's hand as the vigilante sat up. He squeaked as Bruce yanked him forward and grabbed his other wrist.

"I was just returning your shirt and cape!" The white skinned clown grinned nervously, still tugging away desperately. Truthfully enough the items sat folded on the bedside table. Bruce took no notice, staring at the other as if ensuring it was him and not a trick of the mind.

His makeup was a familiar mess in the lack of light, painted white face, black blotches around his eyes, bright red lipstick put on like a five-year-old might, disguising his scars, and a greasy looking mop of green on top. He'd actually missed it. He'd missed the insane disorder of toxins, blood, moods and makeup that Joker was.

"I didn't lie when I said I wouldn't love you if you stopped killing," Joker's face contorted as if in pain, though he tried to mask it, no less like a fallen pup being kicked. Bruce looked at the other's swimming eyes, so close to tears. "because it doesn't make a difference."

For a moment it appeared he had gone into shock, confused and frozen as his brain caught up with Bruce's words. He couldn't seem to decide if the millionaire meant he would hate him or love him even if he turned a new leaf.

Once he had decided the well-built hero had to steady himself as Joker threw himself at him. The smaller male's hold, arms around his neck, was tight enough to shatter bone. Bruce cringed at the force but wrapped his arms around the other anyway, taking a deep breath as his skinny arms loosened. Painted lips clashed against his violently as Joker's legs wrapped around his waist and held on for dear life. When the puppeteer finally let go for breath Bruce added so the other would misconstrue.

"I'd prefer you don't kill." Joker giggled as their eyes met and put one hand up.

"I promise to drop the body count from now on." Bruce looked at his grin with scepticism and it only widened. "Scouts honour." He had a feeling the villain had never been in the scouts, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt anyway.

The madman shifted closer so their bodies pressed together and slipped his hands in his short black hair. The manic grin faded to a soft smile and he pressed their lips together softly, forehead to Bruce's as they parted. Joker giggled, eyes twinkling.

"You look good in red lipstick~" Bruce rolled his eyes and kissed him again to stop the clown from saying anything else. He slipped his hair into the other's mossy curls and tightened his grip. Joker's head tilted back and sighed blissfully.

"Ohhh~ I love it when you get rough~" He purred as Bruce's lips graced his neck, shivering when they passed over his jugular. He'd always suspected the maniac was cross wired enough he found pain enjoyable.

Bruce pulled harder and Joker moaned.  
As greasy as his hair appeared it was actually extremely soft between his fingers. He licked back up the bombers neck, wrinkling his nose at the foul taste of white greasepaint. Their lips re-met and Joker grinned before biting down hard on Bruce's lip till he tasted blood. The madman licked his lips before diving back in. Batman bit the villain's tongue the second he felt it against his bleeding lip. Joker gasped, eyes fluttering shut. The way the sadistic masochist ate his lips made him think he might actually take part in cannibalism. Personally he wasn't enjoying the warm copper taste filling their mouths, but knowing they were blood and spit swapping was as thrilling as bashing a super villain's face.

Joker had slipped off his plum jacket and Batman's fingers worked on the olive overcoat's buttons. Next the suspenders went while Joker unknotted his tie. Not too long and his white shirt was unbuttoned and slipped off his shoulders as Batman's strong big hands gripped his bare waist and touched across his collar. His shirt was tugged upwards and they broke away to pull it off over Bruce's head. Joker licked the blood off his lips and trailed his hands down the hero's hard ripped abdomen. His hands found the others utility belt and he huffed a giggle as he gently tugged.

"Do you shower in that too?" He asked sarcastically. Bruce didn't reply and unhooked the belt. Joker watched, brimming with excitement as it was dropped to the ground carelessly. Their lips re-met and the escape artist pushed Batman onto his back, kissing him fiercely as he continued to feel the millionaire up. Bruce's hands skilfully undid Joker's pants and slipped them off with his underwear, the other barely noticing till his hands slipped over the others bare ass.

"Can't wait to get my clothes off huh?" He giggled and slowly slipped the unbuttoned white button up off. Batman glared as he took his time. "Now don't get shirty!" He laughed hysterically as he rid himself of it, keeling over and almost falling off the other. Batman grabbed his bare ass to stable him, none too gently, causing the thin man to yelp.

"Oh, getting handsy are we~ Wah-!" Bruce pushed Joker onto his stomach, hand pushing his torso down into the bed as he ripped his pants off the rest of the way.

"Have fun cleaning my makeup off your pillow!" Joker giggled excitedly as his face was pressed into the cushion, kicking his pants away. He wore a pair of light green ankle socks, so bright they almost glowed. Bruce vaguely wondered if the other had a collection of loud high socks.

The psychopath giggled as wet kisses trailed down his back, trailing down to his ass cheek. He yelped as the bat's teeth left a mark.

"I had a feeling sneaking in was gonna come back and bite me in the ass~" He said breathlessly, laughing at his own joke. The laughter died as he gasped, a thick finger penetrating his entrance without warning. His breathing quickened and his legs spread invitingly, head back. His hard-on was firm between his cream thighs, on the verge of leaking. The harder he thrusted his fingers the louder Joker's moans came as his cock began to weep. With a second and third digit added blood began to appear on his fingers as they slipped out.

"Oh God, harder~!" His hips pushed back against his hand and Bruce had to hold him still by his hip. Joker's approving hummed moan followed as he gripped none to gently. The fingers retreated and he groaned in disdain.

"N-No fair." He rolled over on to his back, exposed and legs wide opened as he looked up at the other, chest still heaving.

"You’re not naked yet~" He pulled the other forward by his shoulders with an obscene grin. "I wanna see what kind of equipment your packing~" He giggled, biting his lip and looking down at the bulge in the millionaire vigilante's pants. His hands gripped the top and Bruce allowed him to pull them down low enough to reveal himself in his free-birding glory. The greenette's eyes twinkled as he bit his lip with a keen smile. Batman's 'batarang' stood tall, thick and long. Well past eight inches and completely untouched by steroids, unlike some heroes.

"Well someone’s definitely not Jewish, nice and meaty too. Good thing I'm not Jewish, they're not allowed pork." He giggled and pulled the other down to the bed with him, before whispering seductively. "Wanna know what the Jewish boy said to the pig?" His eyes shone with a rising joke.

"No." Bruce would have rolled his eyes had he less control.

"But-"

"No buts." He answered sternly, back to kissing the jokester's neck.

"Well then you’re not gonna be enjoying yourself very much tonight are you?" He said with a breathless giggle, moaning happily and putting a hand in the blackette's hair as lips marked all along his throat.

"Mmm~ Bruce~ pants off~" He grunted in response, making Joker giggle as he slipped the clothing off, leaving him bare over the other. Joker's expression was of starved hunger, a skinny Cheshire cat waiting for its meal. His thin bony fingered hand trailed down The Bat's neck to his waist, slipping around and down to the front. He groaned quietly as the soft white spider hand wrapped around his thick girth. He pressed his face into the other's curls, inhaling the chemical scent.

"I always have loved taking hold of your baterangs~ " The red lipped maniac whispered, tugging gently.

"Joker," Bruce's powerful voice left him ridged, taking a breath as instinct demanded he bolt. The Dark Knight's lips moved over to his ear, moving against the cusp. "shut up, and spread your legs." Joker shivered, purring his reply and wrapping his arms around the dominants neck.

"Yes sir~" His legs wrapped around the vigilante’s waist and he pressed up, moaning exaggeratedly to urge the other on. The heat of their touching skin was overwhelming as he kissed him fiercely and pushed his thighs apart roughly. He had condoms and lube in the bedside drawer, but he had a feeling the other would prefer it raw. A blissful moan was his confirmation as he shoved his pre-cum leaking firmness into the other suddenly.

Joker's head was thrown back into the pillows as he hissed at the exciting burn, hickey maimed throat fully exposed. Bruce took advantage of the presented flesh with his teeth, driving the madman insane. His violent thrusting had the oak bed frame creaking and Joker screaming.

"Shit- More! Split me open~!" Batman growled and rammed into him, grazing his soft spot and making him orgasm early. He felt the other tighten and spasm, wetness hitting his abdomen, before he went limp. The beast continued to thrust as his sub panted, quickly recovering and joining in thrusting back against him again. Hardened flesh pressed into the wet juices now painting his abs. The maniac really was insatiable. At the volume he was crying out he could wake even Albert down in the servant’s quarters. The thought crossed his mind but he honestly didn't care at this point, continuing to fuck the villain raw. Nonsense had begun to spew from the others painted and scared lips. He ignored the mindless babble and bit at the others Adam's apple, feeling the vibrations of his moan. Nails dug into the back of his shoulders as he continued to blabber.

"-hospital-ahhh-havamn-bloooooood~Ah! Fu-ck-! ha-ah, harder~ fantasssyy toomuchloong waatin-nngh- moooore~ worththe duck-! hammermeeeharrrder~ Oh-! Ha-ha-ahhhh~ homo homo sappiiien, hihihi~" He gasped as Batman's hand held his wet and weeping cock, gripping to shut him up. "Shit-! G-gonna- Ah!" Bruce tightened his hold to stop him orgasming a second time, making the freak whimper and writhe.

"Oh God! Please-Ohh fuck!" He hissed and tried to thrust into the other's hand, on the verge of tears with desperation to release his swollen cock. His ass had become unbelievably tight, clutching and begging.

"Please- Ah-I need-" He whimpered as the hold tightened.

"Shut up, and I'll let you cum." He nodded, slightly peeved the other's self-control even applied to the bedroom. He sounded completely unaffected. That was just cruel.

As soon as his grip loosened, the other's dick pulsing in his hand with his erratic heartbeat, his second load shot out forcedly to join the first on their rubbing skin. He groaned, body limp as a rag doll and eyes barely open. Batman released a long, slightly shaky breath as stained textured lips barely dragged across his lips and down his neck.

"Nnnnnnh, Bruuuce~"

"Quiet." He responded sharply. Sweat had begun to slip down his neck. Joker's warm, wet tongue slid up his neck, licking away the salty substance. It trailed down his throat to his collar bone, beginning to gently suck a mark as his body was ruined. The Bat's pace slowed to avoid cumming. He refused to release till he had the other completely empty.

Hickey made the limp puppeteer licked back up his neck and jaw to kiss him gently, hands cupping his face. The kisses were lazy and relaxed as he let him continue to ravage his spent body. His hands slipped into the other's raven hair, brushing away the sweat on his hairline. His cock was already beginning to reawaken in the other's hand as he slowly stroked him alive. His almost white member was slick with his own releases, shivering feverishly in hot flushes as his constantly intoxicated body was pushed further. By now a mere press to his tip was painful, and he moaned as the other's slick finger circled and abused his head.

Bruce kissed his open mouth between pants. The clown looked ready to pass out, but still smiled up at him with adoration. The hands in his hair tightened their grip on his black locks as his nails dug into the other's tip. Joker lost it, crying out his name in a strangled voice as his muscles constructed.

"Bruce!" He'd allow the small amount of speech, as long as it was his name alone. His hair was tugged fiercely, forcing him into the other's chest, where he began to slowly lick and drag his teeth over. Joker whimpered, body lax in exhaustion as he panted. His skin was burning and wet with sweat, still he took the beastly bats girth with pleasure, shivering as his body changed temperatures randomly in his feverish state. Bruce but down on the nub of his pale pink nipple and he moaned, unable to become erect again at this point.

Bruce was finally letting the facade drop, sweat on his brow and panting fiercely as he rutted the other. Joker smiled with what small reserves of energy he had, pushing the others hair which had stuck to his forehead back.

"Come on Bats baby, fill me up with it~" Bruce grunted, stilling a moment to draw it out a little longer. "Bruuuuce~ Cum inside me~" He whispered right into his ear, moving his hips against him and tightening his muscles. Bruce gave a choked gasp, not expecting the double attack, and rode out his orgasm, moving slowly into Joker's tightness as the other milked him. Finally empty and panting like a dog he slipped out of the other with an obscene sound and collapsed beside him. Joker, also panting and looking spent, grinned at him, hair messed and face makeup smudged everywhere.

"Well now that the foreplay's done, ready to have sex?" The question was so genuine sounding Batman could not hold in his look of disbelief. Joker cackled at the sight, energy apparently returned as he struggled to stop, tears in his eyes. Rather than getting a handle on it he began to hyperventilate and fell off the bed. Bruce rolled his eyes and shifted over, looking onto the floor at the still giggling male who lay naked on his floor. The bruises had healed, replaced with Bruce's own, blooming across blushed flesh. Joker gasped for breath, seeming to have calmed down but still giggling every now and again, in danger of losing himself to another fit at any time.

Bruce sighed. Why did he have to fall in love with a maniac? The other smiled sweetly up at him, gold-ivy eyes sparkling. Oh yeah.

Well, maybe insanity wasn't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YOU LIKED! Remember to Kudos! Btw I have a way better fanfic of this pairing posted now. Kinda puts this one to shame XD

**Author's Note:**

> 'Queen' is the term for a female cat like bitch is for female dogs btw


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